They’re Heeere – Final Girl – The Haunting of Creech Manor Review

One of my very first horror movies, when I was just a teenager and not watching these R-rated slasher flicks, was the PG-rated Poltergeist.

I watched it on a sleepover with some friends, and yeah, it was pretty spooky and scary for me.

So it was with that fond memory that I broke open another Final Girl feature film to see what other monster would kill me and add to my losing streak.

The Haunting of Creech Manor has a manor house…and a poltergeist!

Wow, you’d think I knew that was coming when I wrote that introduction or something.

This feature film was designed by A. J. Porfirio with artwork by Tyler Johnson. It was published as part of Series 1 by Van Ryder Games in 2021.

I have to say that while this film is fun, the Poltergeist has to be one of the most luck-based killers I’ve ever seen in Final Girl.

And I’ve played eight of them!

Yes, there’s lot of dice rolling in this game, so there is plenty of luck anyway.

But…but…ok, let me explain.

Since the Poltergeist is the one I’m mainly complaining about, let’s start with her.

For the first time, the killer actually doesn’t have any health and you can’t physically attack her.

However, she can attack you (or victims).

And she does…a lot.

Instead of killing her, the only way you can win against the Poltergeist is to find Carolyn in one of the Item piles, and then take her to an exit space.

Depending on the Dark Power, you might also need to find Mr. Floppy.

Getting Carolyn gets rid of any nasty Minor Dark Powers, which is good because they are really nasty, and since you can’t attack her, Carolyn is the only way to get rid of them.

However, that’s all you need to do. Find Carolyn and escape.

The way these two work is that you have 10 Item cards (usually it’s 12) from whatever location you are in.

You shuffle them up, take three of them that will be on the top (I’m not sure what you do in Maple Lane, where there are 4 stacks, but I’ll figure it out if I ever combine them). Then you shuffle Mr. Floppy and Carolyn into the rest and divide them into three piles.

Put the three set aside cards on top of the 3 piles and you’re ready to go.

You have to find Carolyn and get her out, which may take some work.

Or you might get lucky!

I’ve seen reports of really fast games where you move to a Search location, get a 2-star success and find Carolyn immediately, then run to an exit and you win.

Or you could be like me and you either don’t find her, or you have trouble even getting to the Search locations to begin with and can’t even look for her.

It’s all even more random than normal!

Let’s go into her Dark Powers, because they come out even quicker than usual, after only the second victim death (it’s usually at least the third).

These Dark Powers are really bad.

Don’t get me started on the Epic Dark Power, where you do have to find Mr. Floppy and Carolyn.

I had Eternal Despair come up twice in my games and losing a Time for every 1 on a Horror roll, given my penchant for rolling 1s, really sucked!

Stiff Wind makes all of your movement cards go one space less (to a minimum of 1), which makes sprinting around the location really hard.

I didn’t have Invisible Barrier at all, but since I only found Carolyn once and I didn’t have full health when I did it, that would make things almost impossible.

You really need to invest in a big Rest card, but then you’re vulnerable to getting attacked again.

They’re all bad!

The finales aren’t much better.

These are just going to lose you the game very quickly if you get there.

And considering how many of the Terror cards (I’ll get to those in a minute) have you discard them and draw the next Terror card if you have (or have not) found Carolyn, you could get there very quickly.

Relentless Assault will always put the Poltergeist in your space, and then she attacks twice.

There are only so many reaction cards!

Nothing is Easy also puts her in your space, but she only attacks once. You could fend her off if you’re lucky.

But all of your basic Action cards cost a Time to take back.

That’s not good at all.

Finally, She Will Soon be Lost has you add 3 Terror cards to the deck and you draw one as normal.

If you can’t draw a Terror card, you lose!

Considering how many “discard this and draw another one” cards there are, that can really suck.

I talked about the Terror cards, so let’s talk about those in more detail.

You might think “oh, you can’t attack the Poltergeist, so I don’t need weapons.”

That’s ain’t necessarily so!

Two Terror cards actually have something that attacks you, and that you can attack as well.

You can mitigate (or even negate) any damage they do by attacking them first.

But you never know when they’re going to come out.

Unstoppable Evil is another reason to have Guard (or maybe Retaliate? Even though you can’t actually do any damage) cards. You roll a die and take that much damage!

Or you can kill that number of victims. That could work.

Then there’s I Have to Kill You! It Told Me to Kill You!

If you have victims around you, you can kill a bunch of them with an Action card, and you do not increase bloodlust.

It’s a good (if rather amoral) way of getting rid of the victims without making the Poltergeist more powerful.

You then take one damage for each victim still in your space.

Which is not good if there are a lot of them!

Other Terror cards are just as bad.

Carolyn? Where Are You? either has you draw the next Terror card or has you lose Carolyn into the nearest Item pile.

Granted, it’s cool that you know where she is.

But she could be at the bottom!

How many Searches will that take to find?

I had The Ground is Shaking way too many times (there are at least two copies of this card in the Terror deck). She moves to you, attacks you, and if she does any damage, all of your next turn’s moves are panicked.

This will really suck if the space you’re trying to move to has only one panic number in your current location.

Of which there are many in Creech Manor.

I’m noticing a bit of a trend in the last couple of films I’ve played, where the combined location and killer of the feature film are really terrible (if thematic) together, but maybe not so bad if you use one of them with a different location/killer.

Finally, there are the two Minor Dark Powers, as well as two other horrifying Terror cards.

Psychic Confusion will just make it that much harder to find Carolyn! Or at least make you spend a lot more time searching.

Unseen Forces making your first move every turn a panicked one just makes it almost impossible to move around unless you get really lucky.

Again, if you’re in a location where there are a lot of single-digit panic spots, you’re probably hooped.

I actually got killed by lightning in my last game.

Nothing Is As It Seems may be be good or bad depending on (I repeat myself) your luck.

If Carolyn is revealed and she happens to be close to you, then it may be worth the extra two Bloodlust to find her that easily!

But she may appear very far from you, which gives you a goal but makes it very hard to get her.

That’s enough about the Poltergeist.

I found her really luck-dependent, even more so than the rest of the game, and not really as cool as the other killers I’ve faced.

Though she can certainly make great stories.

Which I guess is one of the great things about Final Girl.

I’ve heard of some house rules to make her a bit more manageable, like having her default Killer action just “move” rather than “move and attack”.

I may try those one of these days.

I may play her until I get one of those “easy” wins, but I’m not sure how often I’ll choose her.

Let’s move on to Creech Manor, an interesting location with a couple of cool twists.

First, there are a couple of rooms that have only one-way movement, especially on the right side of the board.

There are three “window” spaces, one on the left and two on the right.

On the right, they are one-way spaces to the ground exit space.

On the left, there’s a ladder, which means you can move up or down.

Unless you draw the Broken Ladder Terror card.

Then it becomes a no-way space.

Having the three search locations so separated (well, two of them are near each other, but still 3 moves away!) is really terrible when you’re trying to find Carolyn, unless you happen to be near the Attic or Closet and she is in one of those item stacks.

Yet another way the Poltergeist is very random.

The Setup cards do mostly have one thing in common.

Yep, the Attic almost always has 2 or more victims, with the other Setup card having you there instead.

That last one is great for searching!

But they are terrible when your first Event is No One Comes Back, which kills every victim in the Attic and if a victim panics into there (or if you take them there because of the Helicopter event), they die as well.

I had the Creepshow setup, with 3 victims in the attic, and that was my first Event.

Instant Dark Power for the Poltergeist!

Which actually brings us to the Events for this location, some of which are good and some of which are really bad.

The Helicopter is cool!

So of course I never saw that one.

Light’s Out makes it really hard to move without the Flashlight or Candle, especially when you’re also rolling one less die anyway, or your moves are panicked.

Clingy victims isn’t too bad, but there are times where you don’t want victims following you!

Finally, moving victims toward the Attic is not good unless you have the Helicopter out.

Unlike the other Feature Films I’ve seen so far, Creech Manor is the one that has only one Event card to add special victims, though it adds all three!

They don’t do much, other than add extra bloodlust when they’re killed, and they won’t follow you until one of them is gone.

They’re kind of useless, and actually really bad for you.

Only one card actually adds new victims (instead of replacing them, like Ghost Hunters does), and they panic immediately.

Pushed to the Edge can be terrible depending on the start and how you have the victims situated.

I’ve had three victims jump to their death in one turn.

Liquid Courage can be good or bad. Victims will follow you into the Killer’s space, which is good if the killer is blocking your way to an exit.

Otherwise, it’s a crapshoot.

Now let’s get into the Terror cards.

There are only three that will bring out an event, but these are all pretty brual.

It’s Broken, we’ve already seen, making the ladder on the left side of the house inert.

Something is Coming Through the Wall can really kill victims, panicking all victims and, if any go out through a window, they are killed. (Does that count as them jumping to their deaths?).

The Trees Are Alive doesn’t count for that, though it will still kill a bunch of victims, possibly.

Finally, The Windows and Doors Just Slammed Shut can really inhibit your search for Carolyn (if you are playing the Poltergeist, anyway). Either not being able to move or not being able to enter the house is really bad.

The other Terror cards are pretty horrible.

It’s Coming, It’s Coming can kill a bunch of victims if you’re unlucky.

It’s a Fake could have you get rid of that one precious item you’ve been holding on to.

Then the Killer comes for you or a victim.

These are all quite horrifying.

Overall, I really do like Creech Manor, though not as something with the Poltergeist. The Poltergeist just makes it too hard to move around and find Carolyn, with the Search locations difficult to get to, just adding to the luck factor with her.

As a location by itself, it could actually be quite cool.

The Terror cards are interesting and, while they could be quite nasty for killing victims, that’s part of the fun!

Just not with the Poltergeist, where everything else is working against you as well.

How about the new Final Girls?

They’re definitely built for this film with the Poltergeist, though getting to the ultimate side can be difficult.

Selena only requires 4 victim saves, so you could do that quickly.

Getting a free Search action card can really help find Carolyn. The other three are equally good, with reducing Horror or moving 1 space (when movement can be at a premium) is always good.

Her ultimate is even better, though. Resolve Search actions with 2 extra dice?

Yes please!

Alice has low health and requires 6 victims to reach her ultimate, which can be a bad combination.

Taking a Cost 2 Action card means you can also grab that Search card if you need it, though it’s a bit more flexible because maybe you need that Guard because the Killer is coming after you. Or that Sprint to get around.

Healing is important for her, given her low health, so two spaces to gain a health is really good as well.

And movement is always important!

Her ultimate is amazing, though I don’t know how often you’ll get there against the Poltergeist where it seems that Searching is even more important than rescuing victims.

Choose an Action card and for the rest of the game, you roll 5 dice for that action no matter what?

Wow!

Makes sense that it’s difficult to get there, but it just seems like she doesn’t fit this feature film that well, with the concentration on Searching.

I can’t wait to play her with a different killer.

Ultimately, The Haunting of Creech Manor is a solid feature film, though I don’t really like the killer that much.

Creech Manor itself is really interesting to play in, though. The special mechanics with the windows, the one-way paths, and cool Event cards really add to the tension.

And the Terror cards!

Terrifying, but oh so thematic and fun.

The Final Girls are amazing, though Alice may be better for a different killer.

Overall, this is probably my least favourite feature film so far, though that’s solely for the Poltergeist.

That might change if I mix her up with a different location, or Creech Manor with a different killer.

Stay tuned.

It’s still pretty fun, if frustrating more often than usual.